"Creation is a drug I can't do without." Cecil B.DeMille
I never thought I would be on such good speaking terms with a pharmacist. Since my heart attack I am taking things with names I can't even pronounce. But the real prescription that I am following religiously is really keeping my ticker ticking:
1. Every day tell wife how much I love her.
2. Let my two Giant Malamutes take me for a walk every day.
3. Pet white cat once a day and listen to her purrrrrrrr.
4. Every third day try to make friends with Black Cat who growls like a dog at me.
5. Try to not watch much bad television especially news programs.
6. Live by my "inner clock" and worry less about deadlines--pun intended.
7.Remember to thank God for every day that I am on this side of the green summer grass.
Question: Do you need your "Life Prescription" refilled?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Time Off
"Happiness may well consist primarily of an attitude toward time." Robert Grudin
I took some time off last week from writing this blog. I had to reassess my usage of "time." For several weeks after my heart attack and surgery I thought I was running out of time so I began running through lots of things. I ran through my memory searching for people I needed to reconnect with. I ran through my dreams making sure every morning I was remembering as many as possible looking for clues and messages that would add meaning to my life and help me understand where I was, who I am and what I wanted to do next in life. I ran through books like a marathon man getting through each page as fast as possible.
I was in such a hurry, just like pre-heart attack days, but only this time I was more internally than externally directed as if somehow this made my rapid pace justified. I decided to slow down, take some deep breaths and hope and trust that what needed doing would get done, who needed to be connected with would be. A new attitude towards time.
Question: Do you know what time it is for your deepest self?
I took some time off last week from writing this blog. I had to reassess my usage of "time." For several weeks after my heart attack and surgery I thought I was running out of time so I began running through lots of things. I ran through my memory searching for people I needed to reconnect with. I ran through my dreams making sure every morning I was remembering as many as possible looking for clues and messages that would add meaning to my life and help me understand where I was, who I am and what I wanted to do next in life. I ran through books like a marathon man getting through each page as fast as possible.
I was in such a hurry, just like pre-heart attack days, but only this time I was more internally than externally directed as if somehow this made my rapid pace justified. I decided to slow down, take some deep breaths and hope and trust that what needed doing would get done, who needed to be connected with would be. A new attitude towards time.
Question: Do you know what time it is for your deepest self?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
An Interior Kind of Wandering
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” —Marcel Proust
The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the valley. It’s just different, full of mystery. Here is where I stand and there is much uncharted territory right under my feet. I could go elsewhere if I like, but I'm certain to find the same unfinished business.
Still, sometimes I have to jump the fence that surrounds me. When I need to break free from an old perspective, roaming awhile like I did yesterday can do a lot of good.
The older I get the more I see that the most fruitful journey isn’t an exterior kind of wandering. It’s exploring my interior landscape. A silent walk, a weekend retreat, a timeout from relationship and responsibility allows me to discover new ground inside myself.
On this journey I know I need time to see things anew, to contemplate the challenges before me. I may need to grieve deeply to renew my search or sing, laugh or forgive. This is not a blind quest, but a kind of roaming that clears the eye, empowering me to see the truth right here, right now.
Question: Is it time to wander inside?
The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the valley. It’s just different, full of mystery. Here is where I stand and there is much uncharted territory right under my feet. I could go elsewhere if I like, but I'm certain to find the same unfinished business.
Still, sometimes I have to jump the fence that surrounds me. When I need to break free from an old perspective, roaming awhile like I did yesterday can do a lot of good.
The older I get the more I see that the most fruitful journey isn’t an exterior kind of wandering. It’s exploring my interior landscape. A silent walk, a weekend retreat, a timeout from relationship and responsibility allows me to discover new ground inside myself.
On this journey I know I need time to see things anew, to contemplate the challenges before me. I may need to grieve deeply to renew my search or sing, laugh or forgive. This is not a blind quest, but a kind of roaming that clears the eye, empowering me to see the truth right here, right now.
Question: Is it time to wander inside?
Friday, June 11, 2010
Taking A New Road
"Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car." ~E.B. White
Today, like many days when I have nothing really pressing to do I drive down quiet, unfamiliar country roads just to see where they go. I am never disappointed because I don't drive with any expectations. I just go to see what I can see and where I'll end up. Sometimes I drive for thirty minutes to an hour and get totally lost only to eventually come upon something that tells me where I really am.
Now that I have survived a heart attack I don't really know where I am because I'm heading down another kind of road--one that I have never been down before. I don't know where I'm going but I have a clearer idea of who will be my traveling companions than I ever did in my youth. Back then it seemed I was always picking up temporary relationship hitch-hikers that very often wanted out sooner than I or I would rue the day I picked them up.
Brenda, the friend I spoke to today after not talking for 30 years ago is still riding along with me. My beautiful wife is by my side co-piloting and switching off occasionally as pilot when I become road weary. My aging, but relatively healthy mom, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law and my sweet friends Bill Stott and Robert Bly, about a dozen long time friends not to mention my brother, sister are all sitting comfortably in my mortality motor vehicle.
This road winds, curves, and delights and I can't even see around the next bend. I can't hardly wait to see where it takes me.
Question: Are you taking roads never before traveled or just taking the same old ones?
Today, like many days when I have nothing really pressing to do I drive down quiet, unfamiliar country roads just to see where they go. I am never disappointed because I don't drive with any expectations. I just go to see what I can see and where I'll end up. Sometimes I drive for thirty minutes to an hour and get totally lost only to eventually come upon something that tells me where I really am.
Now that I have survived a heart attack I don't really know where I am because I'm heading down another kind of road--one that I have never been down before. I don't know where I'm going but I have a clearer idea of who will be my traveling companions than I ever did in my youth. Back then it seemed I was always picking up temporary relationship hitch-hikers that very often wanted out sooner than I or I would rue the day I picked them up.
Brenda, the friend I spoke to today after not talking for 30 years ago is still riding along with me. My beautiful wife is by my side co-piloting and switching off occasionally as pilot when I become road weary. My aging, but relatively healthy mom, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law and my sweet friends Bill Stott and Robert Bly, about a dozen long time friends not to mention my brother, sister are all sitting comfortably in my mortality motor vehicle.
This road winds, curves, and delights and I can't even see around the next bend. I can't hardly wait to see where it takes me.
Question: Are you taking roads never before traveled or just taking the same old ones?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Hindsight 20/20
“The pond is fed from within.” —William Lyon Phelps
A pond evaporates in a time of drought, and it takes a long time and a lot of rain to fill it up again. For a few years before my heart attack I too often felt like a dried-up pond, a soul that resembled the Sahara desert, an empty well. In my parched condition I would often look back and try to see what I was really giving others? I try to see when serving switched into struggling?
The work I want to do now should water my soul and keep it strong, as good food nourishes the body.
With 20/20 hindsight I see that some of the jobs I did, even the creative work I produced,became too big and too important, obscuring everything else in my life. I, like many who so desperately hope our soul will be healed through accomplishments and achievements lost sight of what is really valuable, real, and eternal. As the great Albert Schwietzer said,"The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who sought and found how to serve."
Question: Is the work you are doing make you feel moist or parched?
A pond evaporates in a time of drought, and it takes a long time and a lot of rain to fill it up again. For a few years before my heart attack I too often felt like a dried-up pond, a soul that resembled the Sahara desert, an empty well. In my parched condition I would often look back and try to see what I was really giving others? I try to see when serving switched into struggling?
The work I want to do now should water my soul and keep it strong, as good food nourishes the body.
With 20/20 hindsight I see that some of the jobs I did, even the creative work I produced,became too big and too important, obscuring everything else in my life. I, like many who so desperately hope our soul will be healed through accomplishments and achievements lost sight of what is really valuable, real, and eternal. As the great Albert Schwietzer said,"The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who sought and found how to serve."
Question: Is the work you are doing make you feel moist or parched?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Questions or Answers
“Questions are the keys that cause the secret doors of the psyche to swing open.” —Clarissa Pinkola Estés
As a boy I was taught that men, real men were supposed to have the answers to life’s questions and solutions to all life’s problems. In my twenties I would reassure myself whatever I didn't yet know, I would surely understand in my thirties. Of course, the thirties came and went and I hoped that the remaining mysteries (there were so many) would all be solved by midlife.
As I prepare to say goodbye to my fifties I finally have begun to realize that the most important questions are still unanswered and may go unanswered. At this point in my life I am beginning to wonder whether “answers” that are static, never-changing even exist. Such a moment represents a golden opportunity.
I'm beginning to get the sense that it’s time to stop pretending I can ever get THE ANSWERS and that now is the time to really start asking more questions. Perhaps it is in the process of being ready to simply ask "and ye shall receive" is where I was meant to be all along. Simply engaging in the mysterious unknown, being the perpetual student is what brings me closer to my own center and gives me a better chance of finding a little more serenity.
Question: What questions do you still find unanswered no matter what age you are?
As a boy I was taught that men, real men were supposed to have the answers to life’s questions and solutions to all life’s problems. In my twenties I would reassure myself whatever I didn't yet know, I would surely understand in my thirties. Of course, the thirties came and went and I hoped that the remaining mysteries (there were so many) would all be solved by midlife.
As I prepare to say goodbye to my fifties I finally have begun to realize that the most important questions are still unanswered and may go unanswered. At this point in my life I am beginning to wonder whether “answers” that are static, never-changing even exist. Such a moment represents a golden opportunity.
I'm beginning to get the sense that it’s time to stop pretending I can ever get THE ANSWERS and that now is the time to really start asking more questions. Perhaps it is in the process of being ready to simply ask "and ye shall receive" is where I was meant to be all along. Simply engaging in the mysterious unknown, being the perpetual student is what brings me closer to my own center and gives me a better chance of finding a little more serenity.
Question: What questions do you still find unanswered no matter what age you are?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What is Happening?
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” —James Oppenheim
Some days before my heart attack I would wake up hell-bent on happiness. If I pause now I usually notice that I’ve found it, and wonder how I got here. More often than not my happiness comes from what happens, and what I do with it. For me these days happiness exists in what’s happening now, not in my daydreams of what’s going to happen some other day.
Wise souls in all ages have been saying this same thing for thousands of years. While I can't put any claim on wisdom yet I do know if I don’t practice the art of finding my “happiness” right where I am, then nothing that changes outside me will make me happy.
Question: Is what is happening now in your own life resulting in happiness?
Some days before my heart attack I would wake up hell-bent on happiness. If I pause now I usually notice that I’ve found it, and wonder how I got here. More often than not my happiness comes from what happens, and what I do with it. For me these days happiness exists in what’s happening now, not in my daydreams of what’s going to happen some other day.
Wise souls in all ages have been saying this same thing for thousands of years. While I can't put any claim on wisdom yet I do know if I don’t practice the art of finding my “happiness” right where I am, then nothing that changes outside me will make me happy.
Question: Is what is happening now in your own life resulting in happiness?
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