Third String

"It's the hardest thing in the world to accept a little success and leave it that way." Marlon Brando

I'm pretty sure that it was "a little success" that could not be embraced or left alone that drove my heart to attack itself as much or perhaps more than it was my genetic propensity. I've said in other places that I always wanted more and success was right up there on the top of that unattainable list.

I was never satisfied with what little I'd achieved. The truth is, I was a for a short while, a second string writer, therapist and teacher and after a few years was finally moved down to third string. The push for first string is the problem, the striving to move from third or second, the unrelenting drive to climb the ladder of success gets so all consuming that is until the ladder falls down on you and need a cardiac surgeon to lift it off.

Today I am content for the first time to be where I am, be who I am, contribute what I can, look back on what I've done and say, "you know it was and is enough" and third string is not bad. At least I'm still in the game and who knows the First String and Second String my give out at any time and then the Coach of coaches may put me back in, but if HE/SHE makes that call I will not wear my heart out in the last quarter of the game.

Question: Are you able to accept where you are or are you still pushing, struggling, driving yourself a little crazy?