Passionate

"Man is only truly great when he acts from the passions." Benjamin Disraeli

A million years ago when I began my career I did so from a place of passion. Money, prestige, fame, or even pats on the back were not motivators. Joy, seeing people be moved to tears or laughter, a feeling of satisfaction that only comes from doing what you love was what got my juices flowing. I was energized by putting work clothes on my youthful dreams of teaching and writing.

Somewhere along the line passion declined, profit proliferated, energy waned, joy subsided, and in the end, not only were the juices not flowing, but obviously neither was the life blood to my heart. I had clogged arteries, clogged priorities, and a partly cloudy brain with constant thunderstorms that would rain down on my soul and drown out the still small voice that said, "Stop, rest, retreat, re-group and reconnect with your heart's desires to help people again and forget about how much or how little they can pay.

Today is the only day I have for sure (and not even the rest of the day is a given) so I will re-vision and renew my commitment to doing what I truly love.

Question: What were you once passionate about that is still calling you in your dreams?

Time Off

"Happiness may well consist primarily of an attitude toward time." Robert Grudin

I took some time off last week from writing this blog. I had to reassess my usage of "time." For several weeks after my heart attack and surgery I thought I was running out of time so I began running through lots of things. I ran through my memory searching for people I needed to reconnect with. I ran through my dreams making sure every morning I was remembering as many as possible looking for clues and messages that would add meaning to my life and help me understand where I was, who I am and what I wanted to do next in life. I ran through books like a marathon man getting through each page as fast as possible.

I was in such a hurry, just like pre-heart attack days, but only this time I was more internally than externally directed as if somehow this made my rapid pace justified. I decided to slow down, take some deep breaths and hope and trust that what needed doing would get done, who needed to be connected with would be. A new attitude towards time.

Question: Do you know what time it is for your deepest self?