I have a couple of elderly friends that are so dear to me that I have mourned the loss of them before they depart. I have even written a "living eulogy" for them. I have believed in pre-grieving for nearly 20 years. I always wondered where I got the notion that is not very popular and to some even seems a bit on the morbid side.
Yesterday I was reading this great novel The Poet of Tolstoy Park by a fellow Alabamian Sonny Brewer and in it he quoted one of my favorite poets who I'd read 30 years ago. Rilke is a German who wrote in the early 1900's. "Be ahead of all parting, as though it were already behind you..."
I am moving out of the mountain cottage I've had for over 20 years. Due to my heart attack and having to cancel and cut back so much we are renting it to a wonderful couple. However, since I didn't see any of this coming I didn't follow my own belief of pre-grieving. I'm just grieving as I go.
Question: What or who or where do you need to "Be ahead of all parting"?
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So sorry you're having to rent out your lovely hideaway/home in northern Alabama!
ReplyDeleteI'm facing my parents' deaths--at their ages of 82 and 85, I see them failing and fading, and it's breaking my heart.
It's always the unfinished things that we want. I want to hand them a published novel--mine--someday. That day has not yet come, and I'm afraid it won't come in time.
If you're brave enough to face what you're facing, even after all you've gone through the past few months, I guess I can face up to this reality in my life. Hang in there, John. You and your lovely wife are always in my prayers.