“Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.”
—Thomas Carlyle
When I get scared and I've been scared a lot lately and I'm full of anxiety, I sometimes feel compelled to fill the air with talk. I may be saying nothing of substance, but still, the noise is somehow comforting to me. It affirms that I’m here, that I’m active and alive.
The sound of the spoken word can be a wonderful tool for healing, yet I must learn to feel the value of silence. I can do this by surrounding myself with quiet, instead of the sound of my voice.
The older I get the more silence seems necessary if I am to listen carefully to the messages my soul is trying to send to my over active brain.
Cliches' become cliches because they are true--Silence is golden.
Question: When do you talk when silence is what is really be called for?
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Fear and Love
Fear. I'm afraid I'm going to work too much. I'm afraid of getting too stressed. I'm afraid I'm going to get too tired. I'm afraid I'm going to have another heart attack.
I used not to not be afraid of any of the above and consequently I worked too much, got too stressed and way too tired. Maybe fear is not such a bad thing as long as I don't let it completely rule my life.
I'm not afraid about money, I'm not afraid that I won't write anything of importance and I'm not afraid that I am not loved. One thing this heart attack has done is put many things in perspective and shown me how much I am loved. I am so grateful.
Someone once said, I think it was Jerald Jampolsky, "there are only two emotions--Love and Fear." Well I have experienced and am experiencing both simultaneously. For the record fear is receding and love is becoming the true healer it really can be.
What are you still afraid of and what are you loving more and more the older you get?
I used not to not be afraid of any of the above and consequently I worked too much, got too stressed and way too tired. Maybe fear is not such a bad thing as long as I don't let it completely rule my life.
I'm not afraid about money, I'm not afraid that I won't write anything of importance and I'm not afraid that I am not loved. One thing this heart attack has done is put many things in perspective and shown me how much I am loved. I am so grateful.
Someone once said, I think it was Jerald Jampolsky, "there are only two emotions--Love and Fear." Well I have experienced and am experiencing both simultaneously. For the record fear is receding and love is becoming the true healer it really can be.
What are you still afraid of and what are you loving more and more the older you get?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Taking My Heart Out For A Spin
My thoracic cavity was cracked open by a man I didn’t know. He put his hands in my chest while my heart continued beating with the help of a machine.
That changed me.
How? I’m only now beginning to find out.
Some people say I am more emotionally available. As one woman friend said, “When I saw you I didn’t recognize you.” I did lose some weight, but she went on to say “you seem more approachable.” Perhaps I lost some heaviness of spirit, some urgency to produce, some self-importance or seriousness. In the process I went from feeling strong and almost invincible to anything so mundane as a heart attack (after all they only happen to unhealthy, smoking, hard drinking, stressed out and overweight people or so I thought 6 months ago) to feeling fragile, highly breakable, extremely vulnerable and tentative about so much I would have formerly dove head first into.
Which way of being do I like best? I’d be lying if I said feeling fragile and vulnerable is a comfortable state, but do I want to go back?
I wouldn’t even if I could.
I just need to get used to not being recognized (in more ways than one) and become more familiar with this place where a simple thing like holding my wife’s hand while watching television is an ecstasy producing experience and a walk in the park with my two Giant Malamutes is as magical as it gets. It may take awhile but hopefully I now have a little time that I wouldn’t have had if that man hadn’t taken my heart out for a spin.
What has taken your heart and turned it around?
That changed me.
How? I’m only now beginning to find out.
Some people say I am more emotionally available. As one woman friend said, “When I saw you I didn’t recognize you.” I did lose some weight, but she went on to say “you seem more approachable.” Perhaps I lost some heaviness of spirit, some urgency to produce, some self-importance or seriousness. In the process I went from feeling strong and almost invincible to anything so mundane as a heart attack (after all they only happen to unhealthy, smoking, hard drinking, stressed out and overweight people or so I thought 6 months ago) to feeling fragile, highly breakable, extremely vulnerable and tentative about so much I would have formerly dove head first into.
Which way of being do I like best? I’d be lying if I said feeling fragile and vulnerable is a comfortable state, but do I want to go back?
I wouldn’t even if I could.
I just need to get used to not being recognized (in more ways than one) and become more familiar with this place where a simple thing like holding my wife’s hand while watching television is an ecstasy producing experience and a walk in the park with my two Giant Malamutes is as magical as it gets. It may take awhile but hopefully I now have a little time that I wouldn’t have had if that man hadn’t taken my heart out for a spin.
What has taken your heart and turned it around?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Empathy
I define "empathy" this way: "I understand some of what you are going through because I've been through similar experiences myself."
On the 4th week after my quadruple by-pass, that I still can't believe I had, I very tentatively ventured out to get a haircut. The barber is about a ten minute drive from my our house. It was the first time I had driven in a little over a month. I was terrified. What if I had a wreck and the air bag popped out and hit my chest? What if I had a flat tire? What if some young thing ran me off the road? Then it hit me, this must be what the really elderly must feel every time they drive to Wal-Mart or to their pharmacy or wherever they have to go at the same speed I was traveling at--super slow.
That one short drive changed me. It opened my fragile heart just a little more. I went from being the person who was always impatient with the old person slowing down the rest of humanity (that is putting it mildly)and became a man who will never blow his horn (or at least will try really hard not to) at one of seniors again. I can empathize finally.
What has increased your ability to be more empathetic than you used to be?
On the 4th week after my quadruple by-pass, that I still can't believe I had, I very tentatively ventured out to get a haircut. The barber is about a ten minute drive from my our house. It was the first time I had driven in a little over a month. I was terrified. What if I had a wreck and the air bag popped out and hit my chest? What if I had a flat tire? What if some young thing ran me off the road? Then it hit me, this must be what the really elderly must feel every time they drive to Wal-Mart or to their pharmacy or wherever they have to go at the same speed I was traveling at--super slow.
That one short drive changed me. It opened my fragile heart just a little more. I went from being the person who was always impatient with the old person slowing down the rest of humanity (that is putting it mildly)and became a man who will never blow his horn (or at least will try really hard not to) at one of seniors again. I can empathize finally.
What has increased your ability to be more empathetic than you used to be?
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